One of the first things people generally associate with Christmas is great big tables, filled with feasts, drinks and friends. Christmas nibbles. Christmas drinks. Christmas boxes filled with chocolates or biscuits. It is a time we show our love with food.
If you have had weight loss surgery recently, it is also one of the most challenging times of the year.
There are several aspects behind these challenges and hopefully, this blog can help you sort through it.
People don’t know about my surgery!
You may have not gotten around to telling extended family and friends about your weight loss surgery or have purposefully chosen not to disclose it. Either way, Christmas is a time when it is really hard to hide your new eating habits and your changing body. There is also a high chance of some pretty judgmental people around! It is your body and your right to disclose what you want, and to whom. Before attending an event, take a moment to intentionally decide how you will handle conversations. You may choose to tell people the truth in that you are taking your health seriously and paying close attention to your eating habits and leave it at that. Alternatively, if someone comments on your body or how little you are eating (this is rude by the way!) you could take the opportunity to mention you have had weight loss surgery and expand as much or as little as you like on this. If you are attending a sit-down meal and you are comfortable with the host, it can be helpful to contact them before the meal so they can cater to your dietary requirements and reduce your nerves or embarrassment of having the conversation on the spot.
Just take a deep breath and be confident in your decisions. No one else can make them for you. By the way, if you want more information on talking to people about your surgery, read more here.
I’m scared I will slip up
The fear that weight loss surgery may “fail” is a common fear and it gets worse at Christmas when there is so much opportunity to eat more than your capacity. This is where I remind you we are all human and humans make mistakes sometimes. Overindulging will either cause a stomachache, digestive issues, or vomiting. Unpleasant, yes. Forever derailing of your health journey, no. These will pass and a few slip-ups does not make you a failure. What is more dangerous than this, is the sense of shame and self-hatred that can follow from eating more than you need. Shame is a very painful emotion and those with a history of emotional eating may turn again to food to ease the pain of the shame, which creates more shame and so a negative cycle can begin again.
There is also research that post bariatric surgery, some people may transfer their food addiction to alcohol or other drugs. If you feel like food addiction, other addictions or binge eating may still be a concern, it is important to seek additional help. If this is something you would like to talk to me with, please feel free to contact me or make a booking for a session.
I’m sad about missing out on the food
Yes. The joy of Christmas is often entwined with the joy of food. Making, sharing, and eating is how some of us express our love. Depending on how long it has been since your weight loss surgery, the type of surgery, and how you have recovered, the amount of food you can consume will vary. But it won’t be the same amount as before and likely never will. It is OK to be sad about it and grieve this part of your life. Once you have allowed yourself these feelings of sadness and loss, it is time to focus on what you do have. You can still eat! Just much less. Try and eat much slower and take time to thoroughly enjoy every single mouthful. Instead of overeating one dish, take a small taste of each dish on offer and if you still have room, have another bite of your favourites. Take a moment to be thankful for your healthier body.
I’m still ashamed of my body
Christmas is also a very social time, where we may be wearing special outfits and with the hot weather, there will be more revealing clothes or bathers if you are by the water. For some, this triggers feelings that they haven’t lost enough, for others, their focus is on loose, jiggly skin or body dysmorphia, where despite knowing you are much, much smaller, somehow you feel just as big as you were before the weight loss surgery. Instead of ready for the parties, these thoughts have creates a shame spiral and makes you want to hide instead. Or maybe your weight loss may have stalled (or even gone backwards) and the idea of people noticing this could make you want to cancel everything.
Weight loss surgery has its limits. It changes how much food we can consume in a sitting which creates weight loss. It doesn’t change how we view our bodies. It is easy to get caught in the trap of “I will be happy when I weigh …” or “I will finally love myself when I am wearing a size ….”. Self-acceptance has no conditions. It is loving and accepting ourselves no matter what shape or condition our body is in. Weight loss surgery does not automatically create self-acceptance. If this is something you feel is relevant to you and want to chat more, please contact me or make an appointment to see if we can get to the bottom of these feelings once and for all. I offer in person counselling services from my offices in Edithvale and Somerville as well as Australia wide online.
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