Should I tell people about my weight loss surgery?

This is a dilemma that almost everyone on their weight loss surgery journey has thought about at least once. Why would someone consider hiding a life changing surgery intended to improve their health? Because unfortunately there is still huge stigma around being overweight and judgements on how to lose it (read more on this topic here).

The most important piece of information for anyone in this position is that NO ONE has any right to your personal health information. If this statement feels a little uncomfortable for you, I recommend saying it out loud, with confidence until it feels good.

The second key piece of information is that people will notice your sudden weight loss and change in eating, and they WILL ASK. So no matter how you feel about telling people or not, it’s a good idea to think about how you want to deal with the questions.

Let’s first consider the pros and cons of sharing your weight loss surgery news. And as you read my list, take a moment to reflect on what you might add to your own list.

Pros to Sharing

With the sudden change in your shape and eating, you may be asked about what is going on. A lot. That’s a lot of evading and white lies! Telling people the truth at the very start might be difficult but maybe not as hard as remembering to keep up the facade for the rest of your life.
Your friends and family may surprise you! These are the people who are supposed to love and support you. Being honest gives them a chance to help you on your journey.
Your story is powerful. Sharing the truth about your weight loss could inspire others to be brave enough to make this change too.

Cons to Sharing

As mentioned before, there IS some judgment over people who have weight loss surgery. It can really hurt to make a decision for your health and have it criticised or shamed. And it may come completely unexpected!
Even without judgment, people might be curious about the surgery. It can be very tiring to be repeating the same story again and again, especially to casual acquaintances. Sometimes it’s easier to wave off the question and move on with your day.
When a large group of people know, it can create the fear that people are talking about you behind your back. Whether real or perceived, the fear that others are saying negative things about you can make you feel very unsettled.

This decision can be more complicated than a simple pro and con list too. For example, if you have complications from your surgery, it may be impossible to stop people from knowing you have had surgery. Alternatively, you may have some trusted friends and family you want to know and others people or groups that you wish to keep it to yourself.

An additional suggestion on this topic is to take this opportunity to reflect on the people in your life. I’d like to invite you to think about your close relationships and what is happening for you that might be creating so much fear in sharing this news.

At the very least, I hope this blog has started you thinking about the best decision for you. If you’re still confused and want a safe space to talk through this issue or any others that arise from your weight loss surgery with someone who has been there, feel free to make an appointment or reach out and contact me if you would like more information. I offer in person counselling services from my offices in Edithvale and Somerville as well as Australia wide online.

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